Pagsisisi ng Muntinkang 2011 UST Graduate

listening to: opera of keyboard keys
mood: uplifted

Pagsisisi ng Muntinkang 2011 UST Graduate

Paumanhin
Dahil bumitaw ako
Nawalan ng pag-asa
Sa pangako Mong pagtulong.

Alam Mo naman, hindi ba
Ang aking pinagdaanan
Oo nga't, Iyong sinabi:
"'Di bibigyan ng pagsubok
Na 'di makakayanan"
Ngunit sa landas ng buhay
Na aking tinahak
Pakiramdam ay kaisa-isa akong
Nakiki-baka.

Idagdag pa doon
Ang pagtalikod ng mga tao
Mga kaibigan daw na totoo
Na kasabay na nawala ng
Lumagapak ng mundo ko
Mga problema'y nagkapatong-patong
--'di kinaya ang bigat!
At ang aking pamilya na handang
Sumagip, tumulong, umalalay
'Di nakayang pahirapan
Ng kakarimpot kong kahihiyan.

Sinarili ang problema
Kinimkim sa loob
Hangga't isang araw
Bigla na lamang sumabog.

Kaya sa Iyong panig, ako'y kumalas
Kaluluwa'y ibinenta kay Hudas.
Tinapos ang buhay,
Sa pag-talon sa tulay.

(Nais niyong malaman ang dahilan?
Binagsak kese ako ni prof.
Kaya't imbis na pag-aaral ang matapos,
Buhay muna ang inuna
Sa taong dalawang libo't labing isa.)

Lol. A poem I wrote during Filipino class today. It's slightly modified, since the original is in my book (which I left in my locker). I didn't think it was any good until somebody acknowledged it. So...

OMGMYFILIPINO is teh alive~!

^____^

As for the title of the poem, only UST students are probably going to get the inside joke. Since I'm rushing at the moment, I'll explain in my next blog post.

Third week in UST post still pending. I've already got 5 plates to finish this week. ;___;

On a sad note, I got a 3 in my latest Anatomy plate. I keep on joking that I'm going to assasinate our ATY prof, but I know I'm really the one at fault. I didn't give the drawings my best, and it was rushed. I guess... I deserved it. I thought getting a 3 was beyond/below me. Subconsciously I know it wasn't. I needed a wake-up call for being partially sleepy.

Babawi ako sa next plate!

God bless and take care to everyone. ^_^

College (part 2)

listening to: a plethora of spontaneous human movements
mood: happy-productive tiredness ^-^
location: Computer unit 25, station #1, UST library

(Is it obvious that I am starting to make the UST Miguel de Benavides Library my primary second third home?)

It's been a long time since I felt this happy-produtive type of fatigue. I feel really good these days.

Anyway, I just came from my PE class which is (drumroll please) Social Dance. Yes, people who know me well will be shocked/awed/have an untimely cardiac arrest at that knowledge. For those who don't, it's simply because my feet has a will of its own, and my hand-feet-eye coordination is that of a derailed train going on a speed of one thousand bazillion light years.

But I surprised myself even more: I actually enjoy it. Nevermind if I have to wear 3-inch heels as part of my uniform; nevermind if I learn the dance step after #@!&^% times of practice. My teacher is uber nice, and is funny; my group mates are simply crazy and kalog that they make me want to practice with them everyday, just to be able to bond together; I get to improve my posture, and, um, acquire a touch of grace and lightness in my Gundam-like body movements; I'm having fun while learning something new.

I have no right to complain.

After class, one of my groupmates in SD, Kuya Larry, a 2nd year Electric Engineering student (tama ba?? ^__^;;) accompanied me to the library. I borrowed some books for my plates (to aide my disobedient hand in drawing my gawdammed Anatomy plate >.<), and went to the computer station. And here I am typing my blogpost.

As promised, here is a recap of my 2nd week. (If you've been reading up to this part of my post, then I believe you're either of these: 1) patient 2)just nice 3) have time to kill 4)bored 5)genuinely interested in me 6)obsessively interested in me 7) reading my post out of pity because there are no other readers

I mean, I'm doing this more for myself than anyone else, really. When I'm old and wrinkly I'll spend my days rereading my blog. :D)

Teh 2nd Week

Monday - We had our CFAD Freshman Walk Tour, aptly named "Walkie Talkie (We Walk, I Talk)." The banner/poster/invitation was soo pretty! Basically we went around the UST campus with tour guides, who taught us some trivial facts about our university. After that we had lunch, and then we proceeded to Freshman Orientation. It was a bit boring, but then I saw our Student Council prez, and that made me a little attentive.

Tuesday - Our CTEC prof turns out to be our Lettering prof as well. I like him, he exudes this fatherly image, and he really is nice. He's the prof who gives inspiring quotations for us to ponder on prior to the actual lesson. He reminds me of Mr. Nachor, our Economics teacher back in high school.

For PE, we were simply given an orientation, and taught some cheers for the UAAP.

Wednesday - We finally meet our Design and Color prof. She is strict, and straightforward, but I realize that it's through her terror-teacher techniques that I'll actually learn something from her.

For Freehand, we were assigned to pick a tree to be able to apply our learnings in perspective and shading. The sky started turning gray, so our prof dismissed us early. The tree I picked was a bit dark, and quite large by the way the branches stretched out, but I'm starting to practice challenging myself. I know I can do it!

Thursday - Our anatomy prof assigned us to sketch the bone structure of the hand. He was nice enough to give us a copy.

Filipino was okay; we just chatted about pamahiins and Filipino idioms.

Friday - Lettering was hard! T___T Especially since my handwriting, as my bezzie would say, looked like "Kinahig ng Hungarian Horntail". And I have little patience for these things. I survived, though, and managed to pass my plate on time.

Our Mechanical drawing prof didn't appear. We left the classroom after an hour.

Saturday - I perfect-ed the excercise in Capitalization in English, so I get to be exempted for next week's quiz. :D Theology and Math were dull, but I am trying to cultivate my interest in those subjects for myself. I wanna learn, and besides, I'm paying hard for this education. I'm not about to let it just go down the drain because of my enthusiasm that is comparable to that of a garden rock.

The third week will be posted sometime soon; I still have to work on the refund from my scholarship. And I need to go home early, too; my anatomy and freehand plates are waiting. ;___;

PLUG: Visit my friend's LJ, Click!

Jaime, magkikita din tayo! So far, si Camille, Emicon, Faye, at iba pang Stellans na takot ako lapitan dahil baka nakalimutan na 'ko ang nakikita ko. Asan ba building niyo?? Stalk Hanapin kita!

Check ko LJ mo ngayong week. Hehehe. ^________________^

To the others: God bless and take care! Remember to eat lotsa vegetable to keep yourself healthy. Chocolated won't hurt, but greens will do much more for your bodies.

Michan, get well soon! D:

College (part 1)

listening to: the comforting monotonous hum of the air conditioning machine
mood: bored
location: Computer unit 33, Station #1; UST library

I'm officially a three week-old Thomasian! :D

(faint background noise: "Go USTe~! Go USTe~!")

This post was supposed to be done back when I was a one week-old USTe student, but due to *cough* technical problems (i.e. this writer's damnable procratination), said post gathered cobwebs in the lonely draft folder of my blogspot account. D: Two weeks later I was able to beat my chronic psychological illness--and here I am! :D

But seriously, nowadays I have no time at all to procrastinate. Really. And I'm not just saying this as a lame excuse or an illogical reasoning for my online inactivity. Okay, so I managed to get online almost on a daily basis, usually in the ungodly hours in the morning. But what I mostly surf for are tutorials, picture references and other things that help keep my sanity intact.

The plates (not the dinnerware, I'm referring to the drawing plates) are starting to kill me. ;____;

Not much, but little by little it's consuming all my sleeping time. And I NEED to sleep. I love my pillow too much. ^_^

Anyhow, a recap of my three weeks:

Teh First Week
On the first day, I woke up early, anticipating the legendary traffic that supposedly plagues the UST vicinity. Legendary traffic must be a myth; I arrived at school 30 minutes early. Oh, the ennui of waiting! *woes* Oh, I wasn't able to buy a uniform, so I spent the day wearing casual clothes. :D

Our Design & Color (DC) prof didn't arrive, so we just chatted. The very first friend I made was Stel! ^_^ She's not into anime that much, but we talked about two periods of our class away. Everyone was quiet, as it was after all, the first day. The monotony of the air conditioner was broken when three officers of the College of Fine Arts Student Council (CFAD-SC) burst through our classroom.

So we met Kuya Paeng, the SC prez. He is sooo bishie! *le fangirl* Seriously. And the term does not pertain only to his physique, but to his overall personality. See, he was trying to cheer us up freshies, and he got us to play a name-game so we could get to know each other. And by the way he would tell stories about what was in store for us--he was just so animated. For some reason. RAABUUUU! ♥_♥

Through the game, I met Windy, Dess, Bettina, Marge, Kevin and loads of other people I would be hanging out with in the future. In the meantime, I had lunch with Stel. <3 In the afternoon our Freehand Drawing (FDR) prof showed up, and gave us the list of materials. I got to know more of my classmates much better. In the following days, we had our Anatomy (ATY) class, Filipino, Lettering (LETT), Mechanical Drawing (MDR), English, Theology and Math. We have each class once a week, with regular subjects lasting for 3 hours, and our drawing subjects up to 4 hours.

I've realized that these are the subjects that I really want to study; I'm so excited! But at the same time I'm a bit scared.

You know the feeling the you want something so badly, that once you get it, you feel such an overwhelmingly powerful inner bliss, that it gets at times too much, too overboard? Like the feeling is threatening to consume you, like you're spiralling down and out of control, like...

I get scared at times. And insecure. I mean, college isn't like high school anymore; I gotta wake up and smell the artificial fragrance of instant coffee.

Our class is full of really good artists and...

Where do I rank?

Frankly, I feel like I'm at the bottom a deep, deep well.

But I know I'll survive.

*stops being emo*

Anyhow, all our profs are great in a creepy kind of way. They're all professionals practicing their trade in the advertising industry, and they expect nothing but the best from us. They said they wouldn't allow a mediocre artist to work in the industry with them.

Our ATY prof told us he won't be teaching, he'll be training. He is good-natured, and is funny, and I know I'll learn a lot of things from him, but y'know, he's the all-business-let's-get-serious-now types of professors. Eeeee.

Our Lettering teacher is a bit nicer. At the start of every class, he said he'd give us "principles in life" that will be helpful in the real world. Our MDR prof is boring, and kinda... dull?

Our regular subject professors (Fil, Eng, Theo & Math) are just fine.

But of course, all of these are just first impressions.

My sched goes from Tuesday to Saturday, with 2 days 7AM-5PM; 2 days 7AM-3PM, and 1 day of 7AM-4PM.

Thus my first week ends.

***

The two other weeks will be posted this weekend. My one hour net time here at the computer station is almost up, and I still need to borrow some books, and to go home (I need to be home by 7pm).

Weirdly enough, the June floods I've been anticipating prior to classes hasn't arrived yet. Hmmm. Maybe it likes surprises. :D

Oh, and we had our Welcome Walk (us freshmen passing through the famous Arch of the Centuries as a sign of alliance/acceptance/point-of-no-return in our stay at UST.) Afterwards, there was a concert. But I wasn't able to attend it since I had to go home early. And I also promised my high school buddies that I would drop by Friday afternoon to catch up with them.

Have I mentioned that our batch at UST is extremely special? We are given special treatment 'cause we are the tentative graduates on the year 2011, the same year that UST will turn 400. Imagine that! 400 years! So, like, we're called the Quadri-Centennial Batch. :D

I will graduate on 2011.

...So I hope I pass all my subjects. And maintain a grade of 1.75.

God help me.

Oh, and belated happy birthday to Josh!

And I'm gonna plug all the DevArt accounts of my blockmates: Pilar, Kev, Alfonso, Alexa and Kuya Moody.

Have a God-blessed Saturday! ^_________^

The June Whirlwind

listening to: Sanbun no Junou na Kanjou - Siam Shade
mood: happy-sleepy

My! With the entrance of June, so maaaany things happened. Usually, I'm a homebody, but for the past few days I've spent my waking hours away from home. I hate being cooped up at home to vegetate, so the change of routine is welcome. I love travelling, walking, just being constantly on the move. I tire easily, but it's the I-feel-so-productive-and-content type. A recap of my havoc-spreading activities these past few days:

New haircut! Usually trips to the salon are treated with anxiety. My hair is anything but manageable, it's all wild and wavy and happy, so I have to make sure that the hair cut I get looks okay even if I don't blow-dry it or something. I'm not very prissy when it comes to my hair, generally my over-all looks, so... Anyway, I had a layered cut. S'alright but the bangs aren't exactly what I wanted...

Jzone and Dgroups! Last Saturday we joined a CCF youth group called Jzone. We met Elle, who let us join her Discipleship group (I'm not exactly sure if that's what it means). At first we were a bit uneasy since we didn't know anyone, but pretty soon we started to enjoy the presentation, talks, and the mini-concert thing. It was fun, and me and my sisters are planning to attend it regularly.

Family time! Consequently, after the Jgroup thing, we got to shop for a while. It's been a while since we really got together as a family and do those normal things we used to do when were still kids. My sisters and I wanted to buy anime DVDs; they had everything from Gakuen Alice, Ouran Koukou, to Death Note! *__* They were bootleg copies, though. After much debate with my practical side, I bought myself a versatile bolero instead.

Death Note! My sisters and I were able to visit Comic Alley again after some time. And OMGJkassksjsajhjhjku THEY HAVE AN L PLUSHIE! L! WITH THE HAIR AND THE EYES AND THE BAD HABIT (of teh fingers pressing against his lips XD)! AND THE SITTING POSITION! I MEAN, it was sooooooo cute. ;__; Which reminded me of the materials I bought last year for my plushie-making plans. Since I had no time last year, I decided to postpone it for this summer. Apparently, I forgot. On purpose. Maybe Dad's right, I do have time management problems.

And classes begin... I accompanied my sister to her school today for enrollment. Since our beloved high school was just beside hers, I paid a visit to some of my teachers. I saw my third year adviser, Ms. Batulan, and Miguel (your hair looks different when liberated from gel XD). I also got to talk to our much-loved (see the sarcasm dripping?) fourth year adviser, Ma'am Caingat. I thought she would bite my head off, say things like: what kind of irresponsible valedictorian are you? You are a disgrace! You do not deserve the title! However, she was civil. And actually nice. I knew that if she was separated from Math for even a few months desirable results would be produced. :D

In the afternoon my younger sister and I went school supplies-shopping. Just the two of us, and lots of food afterwards. :DD

I'll cut off here--Jeffrey Archer's Shall We Tell The President? is beckoning me again. And, yes, I'm quite sleepy with all the activities for today.

Oh yeah, I added some browser charms from Endless Rain. *points to upper right corner of teh blog*

God bless! <3

4 in the morning

listening to: 4 in the Morning - Gwen Stefani
mood: subdued

I've never been a big fan of Gwen Stefani, but I really really like some of her songs. The first song of hers which really captivated me (and is still a favorite up to now) is Don't Speak. Then there are those songs which are just irritating, or pointless, perhaps both, but is a bit amusing and new that somehow I'll end up liking it anyway. Like Wind it Up, and The Sweet Escape. The latter was easy to like since my sisters were always listening to it, but the former I am still wary of.

When I first saw the video of 4 in the Morning, I immediatley liked it. She just looked beautiful in a very natural and heartbreaking way. The music itself and the lyrics quickly pulled at my heart strings as well.

And all I know is you’ve got to give me everything
Nothing less 'cause you know I give you all of me .

And how true.

Or perhaps I fell in love with the song because it goes well with what I'm feeling at moment, given the recent event that happened. I'm just... sad.

It's been raining for a few days now. The rain was torrential last night. According to the weathermen, it's bye-bye summer. I know I've been cursing the heat for the past months, and I'm finally getting what I want (which is cool weather), but somehow I want the sunshine again. The rain is adding to my depression. I realized that the gray and bleak colors I am greeted with during the afternoon are not at all uplifting. (Of course they're not. Silly.) I wanted a subdued, cool, calm environment. Not one that would inspire me to be more lethargic than I already am.

Home isn't as bright as summer-y as before, too.

I'm looking forward to classes--maybe because I've got too much time on my hands, and I'm spending most of those precious minutes thinking. Just thinking. And too much thinking is bad. Everything in excess is bad. I've done some bumming around as well but that only added to my lack of productivity, which added to my thinking list.

By the time classes kick in, I'll be swamped with assigments, school stuff and work to think about life. I'll be busy, busy, busy and I like that. No time to get depressed.

Forgive me, the escapist in me is awakening again.

Finally

listening to: Bokura No Love Style - Suzumura Kenichi & Fujita Yoshinori
mood: enlightened

Yesterday I called UST up and learned that I actually passed the special test and the talent test. I was... a bit surprised, but then I was expecting it. It would've been terribly disappointing if I didn't pass.

My friend Nicole called me up the other day, informing me of the scholarship she got from DLSU - College of Saint Benilde. All the fees were waivered, and the only thing she has to maintain is a GWA of 2. Somehow I regret not following up the scholarship test for CSB--I really wanted to take up the Multimedia Arts course there. ;_;

Oh well. I'm happy for her, though. I think the course she chose really suites her well.

After having a talk with dad and my lola, I've eliminated UE and UP from my choices. I realized, if I'm going to be studying something for the next four years, and then spend the rest of my life woking in a field related to my course, then I should pursue what I really like. Something I'm really passionate about, nevermind about what other people will say.

So my college confusion was laid to rest and I went to UST in the afternoon to submit my credentials. Enrollment will be on the 8th of June, and I'm really excited. I'm going to apply for a working scholarship, knowing that my course (Advertising Arts) might be expensive in the long run.

I wouldn't mind the work--it'd be a great way to meet new people and get acquainted with the office and school people. I think it would be fun.

The only thing I'm worrying about, really, are the floods that plague the vicinity of UST. ;_; And lucky me, it's June, the rainy rainy month. ._.

...I'm feel so happy and light as if, forgive the cliche, a great weight has been lifted off my shoulders, or a great thundercloud which has been bothering me for the past two months finally got dispelled. I just realized that I haven't fully spent my summer vacation in a way that I would like to because I've been worrying too much.

I'm happy. :D

I want a HS reunion. NOW.

listening to: Osaka Lover - DREAMS COME TRUE
mood: nostalgic

They say that a high school reunion is only done after 10 years or so. But I don't care; I want a high school reunion now! ;____;

I was getting my application form for the UST special entrance examination filled out by the school registrar when I decided to check out the campus (to go emo while reminiscing and stuff) and stumbled upon Jesse. He was in charge of the YECS corner while all the repainting and refurbishing was going around. Since the queue at the registrar was a bit long, we chatted for a while.

I learned that he wasn't going to study as UST anymore, since he really wanted to take up Nursing, but was enrolled in Biology. D: Also Kenneth. I dunno why. I feel sad and alone.

After our chat, I finally got around to accomplishing my forms. Jesse waited for me, and for some reason we decided to pay a surprise visit to Kenneth (who lived like, just beside the school).

Ken was surprised to see me =P. We chatted, and watched tv, and talked and ate. After that we went to James'. XD (Who, according to Jerome and Reginald, had a mini sari-sari store already, so he wouldn't go to college anymore, since his entrpreneurial dreams had been realized fulfilled.)

We saw Tope and Darwin on the way. I presume they came from Bernadette's house.

We chatted yet again. My supposedly 2-hours stay at school stretched into 5 hours. Fwee. I proposed the idea of having a school reunion before classes start. After all, our Farewell Party sucked and we didn't even have a decent Closing party. (Which would have been probably loads better than the former.)

They agreed. ♥ And we all went home around 7pm-ish.

I miss all my Journ classmates. ;_; Especially Missy. ♥

Onto another topic, I still don't know what to take up in college. I'm having second thoughts about dropping my slot in UP, but then I dunno what course to take up in UP. If I pass the USTET, should I take Fine Arts there? Is that really practical? Or should I just consider a computer-related course, which will surely provide me more job opportunities?

Can someone recommend a course in UP? Something preferably not-so-math-related?

God help me. >___<